Let’s turn this room into a pirate ship and conquer each other.

Published March 29, 2012 by Jackie

Life somehow went crazy on me. SUPER CRAZY. So crazy I had a panic attack, and a pretty bad one at that. And someone a while ago told me that we discover things about us in the chaos and tumultuous events that makes our so-called lives. And you know what? I’m pretty fucking strong. I’ve explained the circumstances to people I trust with it. I really don’t want to delve in to the specifics when I have to be to work in 2 hours or less. but it’s almost surreal like a movie and it’s overwhelming.

Problem: I work two dead end jobs that are going no where, both in which deviate on my career path.
Solution: Fix up my resume. Look for jobs in my field. Get an interview. Put in my 2 weeks notice. Make money. Sounds easy enough.

Problem: I feel sluggish and I don’t eat often.
Solution: Eat better and more often, you dumb fuck! Also, sleep more than every 3 days.

Problem: I’m uncomfortable with my living situation. There’s too much chaos and yelling.
Solution: Change what you can. If that doesn’t work out, it can’t be that hard to rock a one bedroom apartment. Plus, cats make the best room mates.

Problem: I never have enough time.
Solution: I make what, $7.25 an hour at each job? That’s $290 a week per job. $580 a check per job. $2,320 a month. All before taxes. Start making $14.50 an hour and only work 8 hours. Which brings us to solution number one. Get back in to my field taking care of people with brain damage.

So far that’s about as far as my constructive thoughts have carried me. Mind you, this is a work in progress. But it goes in line with my priority list.

  1. Financial problems need fixed ASAP
  2. Healthy living environment needed NAO!
  3. Personal health (mental and physical) need a tune up
  4. Possible car (side effect of #1 priority for the moment)
  5. STOP MELTING DOWN AND STRESSING (possible side effect from #3)

I’m sure as I go this list will get bigger.

Still Alive… kind of…

Published October 8, 2011 by Jackie

I still live.  Although lately not so well. I recently discovered I had some infected kidneys and pulled lumbar muscles. The bad news is that I have been in some rough shape. The good news is I’ve had some crazy fever dreams! (see end of post) I plan on making a comic out of it soon enough. I’m getting better. Well, physically I’m getting better. Something happened a few days ago that I can’t really talk about for personal reasons. I’m trying to pretend it never happened. So, enjoy the madness. 🙂

Day two in infirmary. So very hot. White walls seem to be driving me mad. There’s screams of patients who lay here before me haunting my every waking moment. I fear my doctor and nurses are performing inhumane experiments. My time may be short.
Day two in infirmary part two. I believe my food may be a part of their experiment. It looks not of this world. Have I been picked up and targeted by foreign beings from space? Are these four walls on their mother ship? Pray for my safety. This could be bigger than all of us. Our world could be in danger.
Day two in infirmary part three. I was overtaken by hunger and finally ate the questionable meal given to me by the medic. It was salty and bitter. Upon closer examination i had discovered that the woman in the bed next to mine is missing. Is she alright? Is she even alive? Did my captors take her away? Could I have just eaten her? I will remain vigilant and find an escape. I will save us all.
Day two part four. I can feel the decent to madness exponentially growing larger and speeding faster. They have applied some experimental medication. I’m sure of it. It has opened my eyes to the world around me and all of its filth and disease. After eating human flesh I crave it again.
Day two part five. It’s quiet. Too quiet. I can feel their eyes upon me watching my every move. It’s clear to me that it’s this establishment thats gone mad. I’m as sane as ever. Wherever i am appears to have a water based bathing device. So futuristic. I must fashion my defenses from found objects and further explore this foreign place. Wish me not death. I’ll save you all from these vile creatures yet.
We interrupt this broadcast to give you a public service announcement. Those updated about space and burritos are a side effect to my illness and medication. In stead of telling everybody what i saw during my fever i decided to make it a little more comical. Please stop blowing up my phone asking me if i’m being legit or if i’ve finally lost it. Come on people. Common sense should tell you when i’m just playing around and making the best of an otherwise less than desirable situation. Don’t be dumb, kids. And now back to your scheduled broadcast.
Day 2 part 6. I saw their leader today. I swear he saw me too. He was tall and covered with what resembled tattoos commonly found on my own kind. He was in disguise and he looked right through me but let me go. Why would if do that? If if wants to destroy me if has to catch me first. The hunt is on!
Day 2 part 7. I have established shelter and discovered their mess hall back entry. I also found a payload of the space burritos. I will eat well tonight. Pray for my safety and for sunrise. I can only stay stationary for so long.
Day 3 on the lam. I had a dream in my brief hours of sleep. I had visions of a diner that had long closed down on 2nd street of where I used to live. It had the worst coffee but the best service I’ve ever experienced. What I wouldn’t do for a texas omlette and an orange juice from Aldo’s. Or maybe a beer at the silver dollar. These places are long gone and replaced by corporate trash. I can feel their eyes upon me studying my every move. I have to act and move fast. Maybe I can gain the element of surprise.
Day 3 part 2. I don’t appear to be in kansas anymore, toto. After cleverly escaping the medical facility i find myself on a foreign planet. Not a futuristic one. It seems to be even less developed than earth save for its space and travel technology. The alien children look at me with their bug eyes. I have to find a disguise. I have to blend and appear to be one of them. There is a woman walking by with a funny pair of pants. She appears to be missing a pant leg. I’m going to grab her from the bushes and take her clothes. Maybe her identity. Do they have those here? I really hope she isn’t some secret martial arts expert.
Day 3 part 3. I managed to knock the female out with a rock. At least i thought it was a female. The alien resembled a hispter emo kid in skinny jeans. Luckily their shirt is long enough to wear as a dress. Disguise is a success. The natives seem to act like humans. They take their children out and neglect them in stores, letting them throw tantrums. As sad as it is the common natives act like stupid white people in wal mart culture. The more I am exposed to how much the native aliens act like my own people, the more I remember that my people barely do anything to deserve to be saved. They watch jersey shore and other reality tv. They PAY FOR PORN EVEN THOUGH IT’S FREE ON THE INTERNET. My friends and family are too important to me to let them lay at the mercy of a hostile alien species. I can’t think like that. I can’t let them get inside my head.
Day 3 part 4. So hungry. Luckily the person i robbed had some currency. It looks like colorful construction paper and bottle caps. I don’t know what the exact worth is. Every food place seems to only sell variations of the space burritos. I’m going to try and buy one to satiate the overwhelming hunger. I saw their leader again. I tried to blend in a crowd. I’m sure if saw me. Maybe he didn’t recognise me in my disguise. Somehow i feel That’s not the case. Maybe they’re studying me. Dissecting my every move to learn about my people. It’s a shame i’ll have to kill him. He’s rather attractive for an evil alien overlord.
Day 3 part 5. My hunger has been subdued by another large spicy space burrito. I was unaware of the variety of flavors they have. It’s easily as addictive as nicotine or meth. I found an address on the wrapper. I may be here for a little while. I’ll need a way to support myself. That is unless i can get away with clubbing these creatures over the head and taking their pretty money. Maybe this factory is hiring. I don’t feel their eyes on me right now. I have to move fast and find a way back home.
Day 3 part 6. I made my way to the factory and assimilated enough of their language to gain employment. I need to find new shelter. I have reason to believe they’re following me. As i was touring the space burrito factory i saw what appear to be human shaped husks of various sizes. I couldn’t get a good enough look to confirm. This gives me a bad feeling.
Day 3 part 7. While wandering the dingy back alleys i managed to find a hiding place. There is a dumpster with a sizable rust hole in the back. I had to fight a rather large rodent for the territory and band out victorious. And with home time, too. Just as i crawled in the hole i saw a large vehicle stop. I kept myself hidden which didn’t allow me to see too much. Just enough to know they band from that infirmary. They kept talking about finding their specimen before it’s too late. Too late for what? So many alarming things. I’m still wondering about the factory. When it gets a little darker out i’m going to sneak in. This could be putting us all in danger. We could be cattle to them, ripe for the herding to be ground up. Wish me luck.
Day 4. I smell homeless. Everything on this planet seems to. I’m having a difficult time dealing with the climate changes. It resembles a desert. Hot as balls all day and colder than hell after the bills win the super bowl at night. I managed to sneak in to the factory but it wasn’t easy. This facility is heavily guarded. Why would a burrito factory need to be so well protected? I’m a little disappointed in myself. In stead of getting a good look i ate burritos and slept in an office. I have to move fast before i’m found.
Day 4 part 2. THE SPACE BURRITOS ARE MADE OF PEOPLE!
Day 5. They’re on to me. I’m being hunted. I have to act quick and act now. They want to harvest us and sell us wrapped up in flour tortilla for 1.99. That’s our worth. I have to find their leader before they find me.
Day 5 part 2. Preparing for war. Raiding a junk yard and crafting weapons. When it gets dark i’m hunting for their leader.
Day 6. I found a group of mutant aliens in the sewer systems. They appear to be zombies that specifically eat vegan friendly food. I have exchanged with them some plants from the surface world for intel and reinforcements on my impending victory against their leader. His name is an illusion to me. But he is of the most evil i’ve ever heard of. He is to give a speech in 2 days time. That seems to be the best time to strike. I can hide underground and stalk my pray until then with the aid of the sewer zombies.
Day 6 part 2. Made a sword out of a stop sign. Made some throwing stars out of soup lids. Crafted some small punching darts out of car parts. Arrows out of soda cans and thin pipes as well as a bow out of fishing equipment and other things. Working on a flame thrower out of a super soaker and fire extinguisher. Rigging my boots with razor wire. I GOT THIS BITCH.

If I had only known this years ago…

Published August 22, 2011 by Jackie

I’ve been having reflective moments lately. I’m not exactly sure why. I guess I’m not used to NOT being on auto pilot. Before I continue, you should be warned that this will have absolutely NO composition. I’m going to attempt this “free writing” thing I hear so much about these days. Where was I? Oh yeah. I had to take myself off of auto pilot. It’s been mostly work and attempting to sleep. Usually I auto pilot during my down time at work, but that could be considered a hazard. I’m fond of my face and I don’t want to lose it due to not paying attention. I think people at my job think I’m weird. I’m always asking questions. I know my job isn’t rocket science. Anybody can do it. But I want to do more than just my job. I want to do my job WELL. When I work, no matter how small or insignificant the task, I try to take pride in it. Everybody needs something they’re proud of. Don’t get me wrong. I’m proud of some stuff that I’ve done. But I haven’t had anything to be proud of since I brought Dawson to life. And I need something I can be proud of. Otherwise I feel like I’m wasting my time. My guitar found itself to me again. This means that I might start playing again. I probably suck ass. I haven’t touched it since I left it at my dad’s house. But that’s another story. Jump. I need to jump. I need to run face first in to my fears and leap. Why can’t I leap, Al? Hah. Most of you will be too young to get that pop culture reference. Pop culture is disgusting, anyways. I feel like I’ve been wasting my time. I need to not waste my time. I need to not waste my life. I need something. Change? Obviously. But nobody changes over night. And when I do change, who will still be around when the dust settles? I guess it will tell me who should really matter in my life. I’m wasting my time typing this. Wait, am I? Or will this help me realize some deep secret about myself that I never really knew? If I know, is it still a secret? Secrets scare me. The unknown scares me. If I’m supposed to run face first in to my fears, then this gets to be the start.

I’m going to run face first in to the unknown. I hope I see you on the other side, dear. Don’t be a stranger. Life would suck without you randomly spying on me from the outside windows of our reality.

My Mother: Cooler Than The Other Side of the Pillow

Published July 31, 2011 by Jackie

You know what kind of makes me sick? When people don’t appreciate their parents. Not just their parents, but their mothers. I know that this would be a little more appropriate around Mother’s Day but I’m doing it now in stead. Maybe I’ll do something like this every day.

(My mom i the one holding us. I’m the cute little booger in the pink, and the one in green is my twin sister Jenn.)

10 Reasons Why My Mom Can Kick Your Mom’s Ass

  1. She can bake like a beast! You ever get this weird thought? You know, like “I wonder what apple cobbler and cherry cobbler would taste like combined..” Well, my mother is ballsy enough in the kitchen to mix the two dishes together and use me a a taste testing dummy. Hats off to a woman who knows how to keep her daughter squishy.
  2. My mother does not take shit from ANYBODY. I don’t care if you’re a cop. Because I saw her do it to a cop once. I was kind of young in my teenage years when I was in a bit of a physical altercation. That’s a fancy way of saying I was punched in the eye.  The cops said that there was nothing that could happen because we were too young and there was no bruise. My mother stood there in front of Sinclairville’s finest and promptly said “You mean to tell me that my daughter can run up to this girl and hang her by her hair from the jungle gym down at the park, and she can get away with that? You don’t want to tell me that.” I think she made the cop crap himself.
  3. My mother has the best vocabulary. I have heard the most creative things come out of her mouth when she’s pissed. So creative and potentially offensive that I can’t really post it here… you know… in case her boss ever comes across this…
  4. She kicked my ass at Yoshi’s Island and Donkey Kong. And my other still plays games. You should send her a cow on FrontierVille or join her mob in Mafia Wars.
  5. She would wake up mad early with me to watch Two Stupid Dogs. We later then obtained two chocolate labs. We really should have named them after said Two Stupid Dogs. R.I.P. Buster and Jackson.
  6. I will always have a bedroom at y mother’s. Do you have any idea how many people take that for granted? A LOT. Because of my mother, I never have to be homeless.
  7. My mother paid for all of my back to school clothes. You need to understand that I used to be a fashion snob. I ONLY wore clothes from Hot Topic. You have to figure that Tripp pants were about $60 – $80 a piece (depending on possible sale) and that the fancy fake corsets were about $40 a piece. She bought 5 sets of said pants every year. She also bought 5 fun shirts a year. And clothes in between. Do the math. (By the way, mom… when you read this, know that I am REALLY sorry for costing you a small fortune on shit that I could have made for less than a quarter of the price.)
  8. My mother would be completely okay if I just dropped my life and became a rock star. In fact, I’m pretty sure she’s already expected it to happen. She did get me in to guitar when I was younger.
  9. Speaking of music, my mother listens to Tool and The Foo Fighters. Enough said.
  10. My mother probably has my old school convinced that she’s a mobster. There’s some back story here. See, when I was in the 8th grade I was doing this project for math class. i was teaching my class how to find the radius, circumference, and diameter of a pizza. This is a very important detail to remember. A few days before my big presentation, I was accused of having a gun in my locker. Did they search my belongings? Did they check my locker? Did they even tell me what was going on? No. They suspended me for 3 days. I was suspended and it wasn’t even my fault. I was pretty much accused of this because I dressed like Marilyn Manson’s poster child in a hick school out in farm land. But that’s beside the point. What did she do? She ditched work to go mall rat with me and take me shopping in Erie. So after my suspension, I go back to school as if nothing happened. My mother has her meeting with the school about how they violated their own policy the day of my presentation. So she shows up in her pinstripe suit with boxes of pizza, and the receptionist looks at her like she’s carting disassembled guns in there. Because of this, my mother is fantastic.

My life needs an overhaul…

Published June 25, 2011 by Jackie

I have to admit. I’ve been rather unhappy. I can speculate on why I’m unhappy but the why isn’t exactly relevant. I used to be worse as a teenager. I was always so broody and full of constant cliched anger. I was that angry kid with family issued dressed up in black clothing with raccoon eyes listening to whatever would piss my mother off the most. She’ll even vouch for it. She hated some of the crap I listened to. She was thankful if she could turn on the car and go through a mix I made without hearing the phrase “EVERY KILLING IS A TREAT!” (Hemoglobin by Beborn Beton, for those less cultured in industrial anger.) I was always finding new ways to be self destructive. I was always pissing someone off. And I was always so “misunderstood”.

Well, mom. I think I might be over that phase. You can rejoice.

Maybe I’m just old. Or getting old. Growing up? No. That can’t be it. Ah well. That doesn’t matter either.

What DOES matter is my 100 day experiment. This will be done in steps. Steps will later on be accompanied by photos. It’s a tad too late for me to start it today, but come sunrise I should be ready to go. I’m not exactly sure on what I hope to accomplish. I just know that something needs to change.

CHALLENGE ONE: FIND ONE GOOD THING ABOUT THE AREA I LIVE IN FOR THE NEXT 100 DAYS.

Day 1: Bethel Park doesn’t have a lot of crime, so I’m able to walk by myself at night.

L’appel du vide. Get ready to jump.

Published April 8, 2011 by Jackie

L’appel du vide is the French term translating to “the call of the void”. More often than not it’s used to convey a deep urge and desire to jump or leap from high places. I’m standing at the top of this clock tower, now in shambles, and I’m about to leap.

I’ve been touched with a madness of a dire lack of sleep. Yes. That’s the excuse I’ll use for this.

I find myself nostalgic. Do you remember that one hit wonder song “Hey, Leonardo” from the 90′s? You know, “She likes me for me, not because . . .” That was my catalyst. Once upon a time I had many friends. Were they really friends? I guess that’s not up for you or I to determine. Well, I wonder if I had ever come across a friend who liked me for me and not what I could do for them. I tend to enable. I tend to have too much compassion. Or at least I did. Am I there because you like to talk to me, or do you think you can get something from me?

When I was still a teenager I had engaged in what was ultimately my first serious relationship. It was an on-again off-again thing for years, and he lived miles away. He’s still in my life, but not in the way he used to be. We seem to understand each other and no matter how hard we try, our paths cross. We’re woven together like an abomination of a double helix. And I’m comfortable with that. I know he’s not going anywhere. But that’s a story for a different time.

I had engaged in another relationship with another person. For the sake of avoiding confusion, let’s call him Jealousy. Jealousy and I were engaged at one point. Our relationship as lovers was viral. We didn’t just burn that bridge. We blew it straight the fuck up. We were spiteful creatures, and despite our ages we were children. At times I felt he kept me because he might have cared. At other times I felt he kept me because I had steady income. He was able to control me. He was the first to control and mold me in to what he wanted me to be. After a while I was defiant. And don’t get me wrong. I did my fair share of bad things to him. Things I’m not proud of. Things that nothing could justify. But I was no where near the worst to him. For some reason, I cared a great deal. Even after we had split for the final time and I had left state I still sent him money and tried to take care of him. And in time he and I became somewhat friends again. But we’ll never be what we were. Now that my use has been exhausted, we’re barely in contact.

After Jealousy was Anger. Anger and I never planned on dating. We were just going to be fuck buddies. We were two crazy individuals who wanted to get drunk and screw. We often partied like it was our funeral and we didn’t care. We fell apart when we had to become responsible. Nobody wants to leave Neverland. We were both looking to escape, and I was an escape artist at this point. Did he love me? Maybe. You know, at some point. Possibly before he tried to stab me with a broken sword and caused me to miscarry. He could have also been using me for a multitude of things. I had connections he couldn’t dream of. I always had drugs, cigarettes, or alcohol despite being broke. I always knew who threw parties and how to get in. I learned from Jealousy.  Anger and I drifted after he was kicked out of college. I had him crash with my friends. I crashed with him. Eventually we crashed with strangers. Strangers that I’m sure never cared about anything outside of what I could do for them. I had a lot of friends that were Strangers in that sense. Strangers are not to be confused with strangers. They saw me as income. They saw me as a steady flow of food, drugs, cigarettes, and household services. In short, I cooked, cleaned, and babysat the children full time. Little did we know, we were dying and transforming. We weren’t falling in love. We fell apart in a whirl of lava, flame, and death. In short, we don’t talk.

After Anger was Sloth. I had known Sloth for years. I figured it would be different with Sloth because of this. But it was a repeat of Anger. I was used more than a Playboy centerfold and a box of tissues. I knew but I didn’t care much. I had accepted it as common. After a while I had moved out of that cycle of my life. I was tired of being a babysitter. I was tired of lies and infidelity. I was tired of sacrificing happiness for comfort. So I left state and met Pride.

Pride was short lived. It’s not that we were long lasted or that anyone did anything wrong. We just clashed. He wanted a compliant housewife and I wanted to experience the world. Breaking up was the best that could have happened for us.

After Pride was Lust. Lust brought me back to the East Coast. But that’s a story for another time. I fear I’ll get side tracked.

I suppose I should get to the point. I’ve come to realize that I chase that which I never had, and in turn I burn bridges. Sure, the bridges light my way, but I can’t help but wonder what if. What if I never left town. What if I never came across certain Strangers or ex-lovers. What if I never got pregnant? What if I never let Jealousy hut me? What if I knew what home felt like? What am I running to? More so, what am I running from? Why do I always fall to escaping? It’s not like life is that bad for me. I have it a lot better than most. Does any of this matter? Do I? Do we? Do any of us? Will anybody remember? Were we ever important? Did I make a difference in helping, or did I just hinder? Was I just a catalyst? Why do I get all nostalgic about it? It’s like a half consumed canvas coated in layers of wet and dry paint. I can see what I want. But do I want it? Does anyone know that I would gladly stay an after thought if it meant that something good came from my interjection in to their soap operas? Am I capable of that level of importance? I don’t plan on changing the whole world over night but I do hope that my being here has at least helped someone, even if it’s years down the road. Even if it’s someone I’ve never met.

Holy shit. I started this somewhere around 3 hours ago. It might be just a tad passed my bed time.

In 24 years I have learned (part 1)

Published March 23, 2011 by Jackie

-You can’t change other people, and it’s not polite to try. While people can influence you, they can’t change you. You change you. They’re only a catalyst.
-It is a hundred times more difficult to burn calories than to refrain from consuming them in the first place. On that ame notion, NEVER EAT A WHOPPER WITH 7 PATTIES.
-If you’re talking to someone you don’t know well, you may be talking to someone who knows way more about whatever you’re talking about than you do. Talking out your ass just makes you look like an idiot.
-You don’t need fancy things for happiness. Dice and paper work just as well as video games.
-Everyone likes somebody who gets to the point quickly. Don’t waste tie beating around the bush.
-Bad moods will come and go your whole life, and trying to force them away makes them run deeper and last longer.
-Children are remarkably honest creatures until we teach them not to be.
-If everyone in the TV show you’re watching is good-looking, it’s not worth watching.
-Yelling always makes things worse. You know that phrase “speak softly and carry a large stick”? There’s some method to that.
-Whenever you’re worried about what others will think of you, you’re really just worried about what you’ll think of you. Other people’s opinions really don’t matter.
-Every problem you have is your responsibility, regardless of who caused it. Deal with it and quit blaming others.
-You never have to deal with more than one moment at a time.
-If you never doubt your beliefs, then you’re wrong a lot.
-Managing one’s wants is the most powerful skill a person can learn.
-Nobody has it all figured out. Those who claim to lie.
-Cynicism is far too easy to be useful.
-Every passing face on the street represents a story every bit as compelling and complicated as yours.
-Whenever you hate something, it hates you back: people, situations and inanimate objects alike.
-Hell is a bus terminal in Kansas City, Missouri.
-People embellish everything, as a rule.
-Anger reveals weakness of character, violence even moreso.
-Humans cannot destroy the planet, but we can destroy its capacity to keep us alive. And we do it like we’re getting paid for it. That’s a damn shame.
-When people are uncomfortable with the present moment, they fidget with their hands or their minds. Watch and see. Everybody has a tell.
-There’s a silver lining in just about everything. It can always get worse.
-An end to a relationship does not mean your world stops spining.
-Putting something off makes it instantly harder and scarier.
-Credit card debt devours souls.
-Nobody knows more than a minuscule fraction of what’s going on in the world. It’s just way too big for any one person to know it well.
-Most of what we see is only what we think about what we see. Try different angles.
-A person who is unafraid to present a candid version of herself to the world is as rare as diamonds.
-The most common addiction in the world is the draw of comfort. It wrecks dreams and breaks people. This tops Facebook addictions. Both, by the way, need rehab groups.
-If what you’re doing feels perfectly safe, there is probably a better course of action.
-The greatest innovation in the history of humankind is language. Don’t let it die.
-Blame is the favorite pastime of those who dislike responsibility.
-Everyone you meet is better than you at something.
-Being pregnant is far more frightening then the thought of delivery. On a similar notion… giving birth feels like you’re pooping. Nobody tells you that in the movies.
-Proof is nothing but a collection of opinions that match your own. After all, there are no facts. Only interpertations.
-Knowledge is belief, nothing more.
-Don’t lie to women. Women are patient and have a nea-phoographic memory hen it comes to pain.
-Indulging your desires is not self-love.
-What makes human beings different from animals is that animals can be themselves with ease. They live in the moment. They know genuine happiness. I learned a lot from my dogs.
-Self-examination is the only path out of misery.
-Whoever you are, you will die. To know and understand that means you are alive.
-Revenge is for the petty and irresponsible. But that won’t stop anybody from getting it.
-Everything done for love goes beyond good and evil.
-Almost every cliché contains a truth so profound that people have been compelled to repeat it until it makes you roll your eyes and facepalm. But the wisdom is still in there.
-Marijuana should be legal, but smoking pot is pointless.
-High quality is worth any quantity, in possessions, friends and experiences.
-The world would be a better place if everyone read National Geographic and watched the Discovery channel.
-If you aren’t happy single, you won’t be happy in a relationship.
-Not everybody is going to like you.
-Emotions exist to make us strongly biased towards or against something. This hinders as often as it helps.
-Addiction is a much greater problem in society than it’s made out to be. It’s present in every person in various forms, but usually we call it something else.
-“Gut feeling” is not just a euphemism. Tension in the abdomen speaks volumes about how you truly feel about something, beyond all arguments and rationales.
-Posture and dress change profoundly how you feel about yourself and how others feel about you, like it or not.
-Everyone thinks they’re an above average driver. Chances are you’re very bad at using a motor vehicle.
-The urge to punish others has much more to do with venting frustration than correcting behavior.
-By default, people think far too much.
-If anything is worth splurging on, it’s a high-quality mattress. You’ll spend a third of your life using it.
-There is nothing worse than having no friends.
-To write a person off as worthless is an act of great violence. Almost everyone has a valuable use.
-Try as we might to be otherwise, we are all hypocrites.
-A casual stroll through your local nut house shows that faith proves very little. But sometimes people need that little bit of faith because it’s all they have. Don’t shit on that.
-Kids will usually understand exactly what you mean if you keep it to one or two short sentences. They’re not dumb.
-Stuff that’s on sale usually has an annoying downside.
-Casual swearing makes people sound dumb. And I’m alright with sounding dumb from time to time.
-Words are immensely powerful. One cruel remark can wound someone for life and one compliment can change the rotation of their world.
-It’s easy to make someone’s day just by being uncommonly pleasant to them.
-Most of what children learn from their parents isn’t taught on purpose. Be careful.
-The secret ingredient is usually butter, in obscene amounts. Or mayo.
-It is worth re-trying foods that you didn’t like at first. I used to hate vegetables. Now I want a carrot.
-If you’re constantly gay bashing, if you’re marching down the street with a sign that says GOD HATES FAGS then you’re more than likely so deep in the closet you’re finding Chistmas gifts in Narnia.
-Nothing — ever — happens exactly like you pictured it.
-North Americans are generally terrible at accepting compliments and offers of help.
-When you break promises to yourself, you feel terrible. When you make a habit of it, you begin to hate yourself.
-A pinky swear is kind of like a legally binding contract. When it boils down, all you really have is your word.
-A good nine out of ten bad things I’ve worried about never happened. A good nine out of ten bad things that did happen never occurred to me to worry about.
-You can’t hide a bad mood from people who know you well, but you can always be polite.
-Sometimes you have to remove certain people from your life, even if they’re family. It sucks, but it happens.
-Anyone can be calmed in an instant by looking at the ocean or the stars.
-There is no point finishing a book you aren’t enjoying. Life is too short for that. Swallow your pride and put it down for good, unfinished.
-Firefly wasnt the best tv show ever made but it makes a damn good story.
-There is no correlation between the price of a brand of batteries and how long they last.
-Breaking new ground only takes a small amount more effort than you’re used to giving.
-Life is a solo trip, but you’ll have lots of visitors.
-Some people are meant to stay in your life for a long time. Others are just passing by. Don’t try to hold on to everyone.
-One of the best things you can do for your kids is take them on road trips or allow them to travel. I’m not a parent, but I was a kid once.
-Withou music life would be a terrible mistake.
-Einstein was wiser than he was intelligent, and he was a genius. And no matter how you spin it the man had AWESOME HAIR!
-When you’re sick of your own life, that’s a good time to pick up a book. Better yet, write one.
-Date somebody who reads. Trust me.
-Wishing things were different is a great way to torture yourself. Don’t wish. Do.
-The ability to be happy is nothing other than the ability to come to terms with how things change.
-Killing time should be a crime. It’s priceless and you never get it back.
-If you’ve never listened to Gimmie Shelter by The Rolling Stones, Folsom Prison Blues by Johnny Cash, Country Feedback by REM, or My Body is a Cage by The Arcade Fire then I heavily suggest doing so They give great insight on what it’s like to be human. Same with Lives by Modest Mouse.
-The world is quietly asking everyone to get their shit together.
-Natural disasters happen. It comes with living in the region. If you hate snow then you probably shouldn’t live in Buffalo.
-You need to put yourself first. This is not being selfish. But nobody will ever do it for you. Not unless you do it first.
-Arguing all the time? Unable to agree? Constant struggle in the relationship? Gettig married won’t fix that. It just makes it more expensive to break up.
-Nothing quite wakes you up like hearing a large man scream “RELEASE THE KRACKEN!” to the tune of a wicked drum beat.