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Insomnia and boredom are a trecherous combination…

Published November 16, 2012 by Jackie

Stumbleupon has given me a character development sheet. I thought it would be fun to fill it in with my own information in stead of a fictional character. And holy HELL was this long! I started this 6 hours ago.  Now I can finally sleep.

Some of the Basics First:
Full Name: Jacqueline K. Lewis
Meaning of Name: Jacqueline comes from French, as the feminine form of Jacques. Jacques originated from ‘Jacob’, which is derived from the Hebrew meaning ‘may God protect’ or ‘supplanter’. Supplanter refers to a person who replaces someone or thing of lesser value, and this Hebrew meaning refers to Jacob supplanting Esau as recorded in the Hebrew Bible. ‘May God protect’ has a more positive connotation and is therefore the preferred meaning for the name.
Nickname: Jackie. Jaqi. Velma. Sunshine. Wench.
Birth Date: 4/26
Astrological Sign and Details: Taurus (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taurus) Year of the Rabbit (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Year_of_the_Rabbit)
Birth Place: Newport News, Virginia
Age: 25
Nationality: Mostly white.
Race: ‘Merica!
Hair Color: Brunette, but always subject to change.
Hair Style: Bob cut grown out to shoulder length with bangs.
Shape and Features of Face: Oval face. French tipped nose. Slight cleft in the chin. Separated ear lobes. Small and barely noticeable scar above the left upper lip, left eye brow, and on ear lobes. “Normal” ear piercings as well as a piercing on the upper left ear.  Rounded eye brows.
Glasses or Contacts: Thick rimmed glasses/
Eye Color: Blue on the edges. Green in the middle. Splashes of brown freckles,
Skin Tone: Pale as HELL. In the warmer weather months I develop a healthy glow with “tan lines” from walking around. I am also prone to freckling.
Scars or Distinguishing Marks: Light scars covering the inside of the right arm in the form of thin lines and circular burns, back of the right wrist, on each knuckle, a solitary scar in an almost J shape on the inside of the right wrist, above the left side of the upper lip, each ear lobe, above the left eye brow, right and left  upper upper UPPER thigh in the shape of thin lines. Faded “jail style” tattoo on the inner left wrist that reads “Clyde” in a custom font inside of a spade. Tattoo on left upper thigh of Gir from Invader Zim riding on a Jhonen Vasquez style Cow King (see: Diablo II) with pink horns an a crown modeled after my friend JJ Brunner. Tattoo on the lower back of a Tribal design outlined in black and colored in with blue designed with hidden messages in it. Various black light reactive tattoos. Stretch marks on breast, stomach, and hip area. Scar on the left knee that takes up 3/4 of the knee. Scar on the right knee that takes up about 2/5 of the knee. Scars on ankles and feet from walkimg.
Disabilities: Very near sighted. No longer ambidextrous. Shotty balance. Vertically challenged. Left knee is a “trick knee.” Eyes sensitive to light. I also bruise easy. Hypothyroid disorder. Smoker’s lung. Hypersensitive sense of smell. Partially deaf in left ear. Clumsy in flat shoes.
Build or Body Type: Average build. Wide hips.
Height: 5’5″
Weight: It fluctuates between around 135 and 160 lbs
Speech Patterns: Usually I speak/type with proper grammar and an extensive vocabulary. My dialect is also very descriptive and vulgar. I have a habit of making up my own words or adapting ones that catch my attention, such as Obamacracy, Romnesia, and “wibbly wobbly timey wimey.”
Tag Words: cunt nugget. crotch pheasant. plethora. L’appel du vide (This word is a French word that has a difficult time translating to English. It’s the uncontrollable urge to leap when you’re in high elevations.) Most forms of slang from the 1920’s – 1980’s (such as Brannigan) multi-cultural slang. Slang in general. I have a degree of OCD when it comes to grammar, spelling, and language. I absolutely abhor “text speak” and tend to say it out loud in a form of irony. For example, “El oh el (LOL)! So, he was all ‘burb (brb) I need to eat. No jay kay (JK)’ and I was all “el oh el what? (lolwut)’ and then I roffled .(ROFL)”
Gestures: I tend to talk with my hands a lot and I find myself unintentionally dancing. I did ballet for a long time and because of that my feet instinctively go in to first and third position when I stand. When I lean over to grab something, I tend to extend a leg in the air for balance. I’ve been told I blink a lot. I’m pretty good at non-verbal communication. I wear my heart on my sleeve. But I’m polite about it.
Weakness: I am very intelligent. This is a strength and a weakness. I’m also very defiant by nature, and that gets me in to trouble. I have issues with authority. I’m also a very giving people and a lot of people have taken advantage of that. Being short has taught me that toe top shelf is my enemy. I have a Superman complex, meaning that I want to save everyone. That makes me subjected to co-dependent relationships. I’m still learning the difference between helping someone and enabling them. I tend to be emotionally detached . I have abandonment issues, especially with men. I also have PTSD with car crashes. I am heavily prone to trust issues. I understand that nobody should be held responsible for the sins and crimes of another. So I will place my trust in people fully until they do something to defile and rape my trust. Once that happens it is very difficult for me to place my trust back in you. After this has happened, I have yet to give someone my full trust. I’m also very directionally challenged. Addicted to caffeine and nicotine. VERY short attention span.
Special Abilities or Powers: I can remember almost every detail of something if I was upset when it happened. I can easily remember a large quantity of useless trivia and musical lyrics/poetry. I’ve been told that I’m really good at expressing how I feel. If you hurt me, I will tell you. When I tell you, you will probably cry. Or feel like the worst thing to salt my Earth. I live to make people laugh. I’ve also been called scary. The jury is still debating that one.

Family and Childhood:
Mother: Grace M. Olson
Father: Joe Lewis. Pretty unimportant.
Mother’s Occupation: She works for the Wal-Mart home office. I don’t know what she does exactly but whatever it is, she does a lot of it.
Father’s Occupation: Retired construction worker. Currently recycled carbon.
Birth Order: Terra. Jerry. Myself. Jennifer. Stacey. Eric.
Brothers: Jerry (half-brother on my father’s side) and Eric (former step-brother)
Sisters: Terra (half-sister from my father’s side) Jennifer (twin sister) and Stacey (former step-sister)
Other Close Family: My grandmother Carmen (mother’s side) as well as my Aunt Carol and her husband Peter, their daughter Emily, her children Steven and Makenzie, My uncle Richard and his companion Patricia, their daughter Snow and her husband Matt as well as her field hockey sized farm of ginger children, my aunt Carmen and her husband Woody, their daughter Karen and her mess of children (there’s too many for me to want to name.) My aunt Jayne, her hisband John, and their son JR as well as their daughters Jessica and Joey. Joey’s gaggle of children. My aunt Barbera and her farm of children. My aunt Judy and her husband Al, their son Myk and his wife (as well as the child she’s harboring inside of her) and their son Dan as well as his wife Cathy and their two children. It’s almost easier to just say “my mother’s side of the family”.
Best Friend: Human? Ian “Ibis” Burton. Also known as Nyxian.
Other Friends: Most people I come across. I’m a friendly extrovert.
Enemies: The Western New York Developmental Disability Service Office. Bees and wasps. Most rednecks. Reality TV stars. People who talk on their phone while in a movie theater. Skrillex.
Pets: Currently 2 dogs and 6 cats (5 of them were strays that my mother took in. They come and go as they please.) This is, of course, not counting the strays that have not integrated indoors yet.
Home Life During Childhood: Very noisy and chaotic. I grew up in a large family with a full house. The car crash I was in at the age of 2 made growing up a little unorthodox. It wasn’t the best, but I made the best of it. I devoted a large portion of my childhood to responsibilities to my family, learning, and trying to run away from whatever unknown force was making me unhappy.
Town or City Name(s): My staple home base was Sinclairville, NY and Jamestown, NY in the greater Buffalo area. Mind you, I moved a lot and ran off a lot but I always came back. At least until 2010 when I promised myself that I would never live there again. Visit, yes. But never live.
Details of Town(s) or City(s): Sinclairville, NY is a large area but not very populated. It’s mostly dairy farmers. The first home I knew had a lot of wooded areas and a good space between neighbors. It also had well water. This meant quick showers and loud noise. The second home I knew was a lot more residential but still not very populated. I lived next to a fire hall that sparked my interest in electromagnetic pulses. (The siren went off every day at noon and with the valley this town sits in, I swear it all funneled right in to my room.) It had a charming park where kids would get high or drunk in the woods behind it near the creek. Upstream at the creek was a little local swimming hole. I was around the corner from a General Store thing. But it was too small of a town for me. Jamestown, NY was a lot dirtier. It was a hole in the wall. There were a few charming stops but for the most part that place needs to be carpet bombed.
What Did Jacqueline’s  Bedroom Look Like: It was a mess. I think my mother threatened to put me on Hoarders. My walls were white and pointy from stucco paint. The carpet and the molding were black. The curtains were translucent black mesh on copper rods. When you walked in, the closet was to the right with full length mirrors for sliding glass doors. On this same wall was a door leading to a small patio outside. My room was on the 2nd floor. The patio had a flimsy rail on it and allowed me to star gaze from the roof. There were two windows in my room. I had Christmas lights around the ceiling and the floor, a plethora of lava lamps and fiber optics. My walls were covered in posters, pictures, pretty much anything I could attach to them. My main comforter was a black fuzzy blanket with a large dragon on it. It matched the dragon figurines I had. Most of my furniture was black to contrast the white walls. I also had three shelves above my bed holding Chinese ceramic dishes. One half of my bedroom was the sleeping and the other half was outfitted to look like a living room. There was usually a cat asleep on my bed somewhere. But I’m not joking. I had a LOT of stuff.
Any Sports or Clubs: Child’s soccer. Track and Field. Ballet. Jazz. Tap. Any dance I could learn. Band (clarinet) and Chorus. Photo Club. Computer Club. Anime Club.
Favorite Toy or Game: Are we counting computers as toys? If not, I had a PSX with Legends of Dragoon.
Schooling: Sinclairville Elementary, Cassadaga Valley Middle/High, Jamestown Community College
Favorite Subject: English and Art were tied.
Popular or Loner: I didn’t do “cliques”. I simply existed. I had my friends but I also had my alone time.
Important Experiences or Events: Car crash when I was 2. Another car crash in the 6th grade. My mother got married and then divorced. I met Ibis in a yahoo chat room. Years later, he stole his father’s bright pink truck and came to visit me. My grandfather died shortly after his brain was taken over by dementia. First concert was when I was in the 6th grade. It was Adema, Cold, and Disturbed opening for Staind’s Break The Cycle tour.
Health Problems: Absolutely terrible vision. Hypothyroid (diagnosed in 2005)
Culture: I come from a very American family with a strong line of female dominance. I refer to this as my “Spartan Viking Household”. I as an individual was more fascinated with other cultures and tried to adapt myself to ones that particularly caught my eye (such as never placing chop sticks standing up in my food).
Religion and beliefs: My family is mostly Episcopalian but for some reason it never caught on with me. I tried researching a bunch of religions to figure out what “fit”. After a while I just considered myself spiritual but not religious. If I had to compare it to a belief system, I would say it closely pairs with Buddhism. Just minus that whole “your body is a temple so don’t smoke or drink” nonsense. And as much as I would love to embrace a minimalistic perspective, I’m very much attached to some of my things.

Your Character:
Bad Habits: I drink, smoke, swear, correct grammar, and generally have an abrasive attitude towards anybody who either hurts a loved one or tells me that I can’t do something.
Good Habits: I am the most loyal person you can find. When I say something, I mean it. When I announce that I will do something, I get off of my ass and I do it. I don’t understand why but a lot of people in my life aren’t used to a female being that way. I’m also very understanding and accepting.
Best Characteristic: I’m very likable and “creepily charming” as my friend Kristal put it once. I’m also awesome with kids.
Worst Characteristic: I second guess myself sometimes and I can be one grizzled little cynic. I have been struggling with depression lately, and that has been increasing my anxiety a lot.
Worst Memory: Domestic violence. My father’s brother Steve. Almost being beheaded by a pontoon boat engine at 75 mph. Each scar on my body has a story on how it got there. Chances are, those stories aren’t happy.
Best Memory: Visual Basic class. Getting my trophy 3 years in a row from Fredonia State’s Comp Arts and Sci Fair. My first job.
Proud of: My intelligence, Dawson, some art I did as a child, my bravery.
Embarrassed by: hormonal mood swings. Oh. And whenever I see anyone in my family try to dance. I’ve seen more rhythm in a dyslexic amputated monkey trying to sign dubstep sounds.
Driving Style: I’m a very defensive driver. Very cautious and paranoid. Just because I’m smart enough to not kill myself or someone else in/with a vehicle doesn’t mean everybody else is the same. Seriously, have you ever driven in Arkansas? NOBODY knows how to merge.
Strong Points: Loyalty. Conviction. Humanity. “Old school” morals with an open mind.
Temperament: Hell hath no fury like a wench when you do manage to press my temper. I’m generally level headed and smiles but I do get angry. When I get angry, I tend to walk away. A phrase comes to mind. “God give me the patience because if you give me the strength I will rip a bitch in half.” I don’t do passive aggressive. I do aggressive aggressive.
Attitude: Generally positive. I’m in tune with my emotions and tend to use them as motivators for myself. My playground is the world and I’m a legend in the making.
Weakness: I’m way too compassionate.
Fears: Cars. Bees/wasps/shit that can kill me if it stings me. Letting people down.
Feels Vulnerable When: I am forced to go through something upsetting completely alone. When I feel that I’ve been emotionally cheated on.
Pet Peeves: People saying they will do something and not following through. Poor grammar. Trash television. Drug addicts. Infidelity. General douchebaggery and bigotry.
Short Term Goals and Hopes: Clean the living space. Get a better grip on my anxiety. Stop depression. Work on getting healthier. Happiness in employment.
Long Term Goals and Hopes: Be happy. Be free. Own a book shop. Maybe run a bakery. Become a rock star and then retire.
Sexuality: Sapiosexual (in short, I don’t care about your gender. I care if you’re smart.)
Exercise Routine: I mostly exercise by accident. I like to walk and explore. Prior to moving to Arkansas, I worked two full time jobs. THAT was a work out.
Day or Night Person: Night owl on a daylight schedule.
Introvert or Extrovert: HUUUUUUUUUGE extrovert with introverted tenancies.
Optimist or Pessimist: Realist

Likes and Styles:
Music: Anything but country and gospel. I’m an “audiophile”.
Books: I’ve yet to find a book I couldn’t enjoy somehow.
Foods: I absolutely love ethnic foods. Lately I’ve been on a Greek kick.
Drinks: I’m a coffee snob. I love everything about chai. And if you put alcohol in front of me and I have absolutely no obligations then there’s a chance I will drink it.
Animals: Penguins. Pangolins. Snakes. Spiders. If it’s not a human, I love it.
Social Issues: Gender Equality (NOT FEMINISM) LGBT Equality. Developmentally Disabled Civil Rights. The pussification of men.
Favorite Saying: DON’T JUDGE ME!
Color: shades of blues and hues of metal. And hunter green.
Clothing: Indian (meaning of India) scarves, flowing ankle skirts, and layered lightweight shirts, knee high socks/stockings with witch boots, bracelets that make noise when I move, glasses, soft and sheer fabrics… I’m somewhat of a fashionista.
Jewelry: A watch my mother had given me. A set of wooden earrings I had received for a birthday gift. A series of bracelets and anklets my mother got me when she was in India. A necklace Tommy gave me for my 25th birthday when we were walking among Dormont. A copper ring with a vintage camera on it. A swirled snake ring.
Games: Horror/survival games. RPGs. Strategy games. Platformers. Cheesy board games. Tabletops.
Greatest Want: Happiness
Greatest Need: Stability.

Where and How Do Your Live Now:
Home: I use this phrase liberally. I am in Northwest Arkansas.
Household furnishings: Some computer stuff. An insanely comfortable bed and a comfortable couch covered in small cat markings. Home made artwork and photos on the walls.
Favorite Possession: My laptop
Most Cherished Possession: A pendant necklace with a picture of Terra and Jerry in it. Also tied with a notebook a very good friend of mine gave me filled with kind words.
Neighborhood: I live on the good side of the fence.
Children: None of my own yet but someday…
Relationship with Family: Close to my mother’s side of the family. Outside of my siblings I’ve become very isolated and estranged from my father’s side of the family.
Best Friend: a white cat named Bumble.
Guilty Pleasure: Cobra Starship. Happy Hippos. Pocky. My Little Pony. Sleeping in.
Intelligence Level: …..Above average…..

Your Life Before Your Story:
Past Careers: Mostly dealing with the developmentally disabled, food service, or computer work.
Past Lovers: Everyone I’ve been with falls in to one of two categories. Either we’re better as friends then we ever were together or they have salted my Earth and deserve the worst of things.
Biggest Mistakes: Trying to trust people. Or hurting myself while trying to do stunts. Or every night I drank too much and threw up everywhere. Or stripping. Yeah. Stripping. HUGE mistake.
Biggest Achievements: Surviving while being as little jaded as I am.

If you had a weakness for one of the seven deadly sins, which one would it be and why? (pride,greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, sloth)
I would have to say wrath. I have anger issues.

How do you feel in a crowd? How do you feel alone?
That would depend on the crowd. I’ve been shoulder to shoulder with the masses and I’ve felt completely alone and isolated. I’ve been in a room surrounded by my closest friends and that has made me so happy that I could have died and I would have been cool with it. There are sometimes where I have been content in my room alone. But those days have now become associated with unpleasant things. My room was so large because my twin sister was very violent and would attack me. It’s not that she meant to or really knew what she was doing. She has brain damage. I would have to go hide in my room. I would eat my meals away from my family. I would spend my birthdays and some holidays hauled up in my cave waiting to be able to come downstairs and just feel like I was a person and not a house pet locked in the other room during Thanksgiving dinner because pets beg for table scraps. I cry a lot more when I’m alone. These days it doesn’t matter. I feel isolated and detached regardless of the head count.

If you were asked to describe yourself, what would you say about the kind of person you are? How about how you look?
I’m a “strong independent black woman who don’t need no man.” An escape artist. A traveling bard. Jaunty. Charming. A professional vagabond and borderline bohemian. I am open for interpretation. Everyone I remind you of is no more than a cheap imitation. There is nobody out there with my combination of quirks and skills. Close, but not the same.

Where do you want to be in your life ten years from now?
On my way back from Greece.

A tear jerker is on. How do you react if alone? How do you react if with others?
When I am around others, I do my best to not let things get to me. I don’t want to get anybody down. I don’t want to make anybody have an unpleasant time. It’s not exactly like that when I’m solo. I was taught at a young age that my problems are better off internalized. I try to do it healthy though. I’m less likely to break if I’m around anything human. I put it off until I’m alone. I hate crying in front of others. I hate letting anybody see me on my knees or on my back like that. I am a pillar of strength and love for those dear to me. That makes it hard for me to let them see me when I’m weak.

What do you think would make a perfect first date?
Late night picnic under a meteor shower after exploring trails and book stores and ending by watching a sunrise over hot chocolate. I will also accept surviving the zombie attacks or watching the world catch fire.

How important is money to you? Why?
It’s a necessary evil. Outside of trading it for basic survival, it’s just colorful paper to me.

What do you consider romantic?
Two words for you. Doctor Who.

How do you deal with anger, sadness, external/internal conflict, change, loss, jealousy, hurt, ect…? Why?
I internalize it, figure out why I feel that way, and then decide what to do about it in a proactive fashion. Anything else is pointless.

How do you think others see you as a person? How do you think other see you when it comes to looks and clothes?
I imagine I appear fairly average to others. People assume I’m a reader because I kind of look like Velma. My appearance has calmed down a lot compared to when I was a live action glow in the dark Rainbow Bright doll.